The Woman In Me (Book Review)

For 2024 I’ve set a goal of reading 35 books and creating 35 book cover composites to go with my reviews of them. First up (since I happened to finish it on January 1^st) is THE WOMAN IN ME by Britney Spears. I picked this up because, like a lot of people, I watched a documentary on her conservatorship during the pandemic and was interested in her side of the story. Lately I’ve been enjoying re-learning a lot of stories about women who have complicated public personas (eg: Monica Lewinsky, Paris Hilton, Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton). I tend to find that the narratives I was fed by the media have done a terrible disservice to these women. Mostly, they have been incredibly brave and interesting people who made the mistake of going up against the prescribed acceptable behavior for women and incurred the wrath of the patriarchy to their detriment.

Britney and I are the same age, so this particular brand of misogyny and sexism resonated in a visceral way for me, despite my never having become a famous pop star. She had music execs telling her to be a good girl (virginal, sweet, people-pleasing) while selling sex in a schoolgirl skirt, whipping her long hair around. The mixed messages of Be-an-Independent-Woman (be hot, successful, talented, and pull your whole family out of poverty) while Standing-By-Your-Man/Father-Knows-Best (prioritize his needs and never let him feel emasculated even if he lives off your success) are just a few of the confusing and damaging tropes one learned growing up in the 90’s. Most of us just gleaned the lessons, watching it play out on TV. She lived it, becoming the example of the time.

Essentially, this is a story about generational trauma and how all the fame and fortune in the world can’t simply end the cycle. I felt that the raw writing style, a little like an adapted diary, added to the story itself. There was an innocence to it that demonstrated the depth of manipulation she experienced and has yet to fully recover from. The heinous things she endured—being a hyper-sexualized child in front of the world, becoming breadwinner for her whole family, being publicly shamed after her teenage relationship ended, stalked by paparazzi, having her abusive father take full control over her life with the conservatorship, having her children taken away from her while paying everyone’s way—have stunted her in so many ways. She didn’t get to grow into the woman she may have become. At the same time, she discovered, pursued, and achieved her Big Dream. That is no small feat in the best of circumstances. To have maintained (and even grown) her career while enduring so much abuse and sexist bullshit is a testament to her strength of character. The woman in her has a fierce throughline and is now free to thrive in every way. I hope she does.

I’d love to read another version of this in ten years or so, after she’s had time to adjust to living life on her terms and hopefully getting a lot of therapy to help her heal and set serious boundaries with her family and anyone she allows into her life. Ultimately, The Woman In Me felt like reading a friend’s version of events I’d already heard about elsewhere, adding depth and nuance that challenged the preconceived notions I may have had.

Behind The Image: 

Here is a beautiful and talented woman, pulled apart like a broken zipper, forced down a long hellish road. The fog and sky could be seen as ominous or beautiful, depending on the observer, which I love. Like life, it’s open to interpretation. She talks about how controlling the sexuality she puts out, and what she does with her hair have played a part in her rebellion against those who have wanted to control her, and I wanted to capture those elements with the self-portrait. I used a long road cutting through jagged mountains to speak to the daunting path she had to forge to become her own person again.