Want to Have Better Sex? #MeToo

In this MeToo/Time’s Up era and especially since the Aziz Ansari story broke, there has been a lot of discussion about the distinctions between sexual harassment, assault, rape and impropriety of varying degrees. These are important distinctions and I hope much thoughtful conversation goes into parsing them out. But I want to talk about where...

It Starts With You

I've been thinking a lot these last few days about the state of the world and what we can do about it. And then a friend challenged me to come up with THE solution. Rather than dismiss it as merely an insane idea, I took my own advice: I tried. It's not THE answer. There's...

I Had a Sleepover at a White Supremacist’s. Here’s What I Learned.

When I was in third grade I had a sleepover at a white supremacist’s house. His daughter and I were school friends and she invited me over. I didn’t know who her dad was, but I did know that she and I both liked tetherball and reading. That was more than enough for eight-year old...

Thanks Trump (and the GOP) For Setting Me Free

"The system didn’t work for me. I am on my own. And because of that I can stop lessening myself in order to preserve their egos. I can stop laughing at their sexist jokes. I can be opinionated and intelligent and talented and unladylike and even (gasp!) gain or lose weight and still like myself. I can dress up or wear pajamas all day. I can do whatever I goddamn please because I. Am. Free."

The Girl in the Turquoise Shirt

When I was in high school I spent a week in Tijuana, Mexico building houses for poor people. That trip changed me. Or more precisely, one little girl in a turquoise shirt did. My boyfriend’s church group was going over spring break and they needed more volunteers, preferably who could speak Spanish. I volunteered. Admittedly,...

Radical Empathy

I did the one thing this Thanksgiving none of us were supposed to do: talk politics. I engaged with a white male Trump supporter. I did not do it out of anger. I did not tell him he was wrong. I did not see him as my enemy. Instead, I challenged myself to see his...

Trump Grabbed Me By The PTSD

The first time I was sexually assaulted I was nine-years old. That’s right, nine. To really put that into perspective (as if any should be required) here’s what I looked like at that age. Undeniably sexy, right? Just look at those bangs. Who could resist? This isn’t something I expected to discuss publicly. Ever. Most...

Tales of an Introvert Living in an Extrovert’s World

I am an introvert. That doesn't mean that I'm shy, exactly. It's more that I require lots of time on my own, getting lost in the world of my imagination. That's part of what I love so much about traveling solo—it's a perfect excuse to interact when and how I wish and then retract, replenishing my...

It’s Always Sunny Above the Clouds

It's always sunny above the clouds. That's my first thought when taking off through the fog and gray, at the moment when blinding light bursts through the haze into the infinitely blue sky above. I love that it works both literally and figuratively, and it sets my travel mood to introspection. Perspective is a wonderful and...

Who Am I?

The other day while I was reading Harry Potter to my son I got a text from a friend I haven't spoken to in years. It occurred to me that while my life has been a linear series of adventures and experiences to me, to my son, I am an entity that began seven years...